Parent-teacher conference season is upon us. I asked my friend Cindy King, who has had the pleasure(?) of experiencing parent-teacher conferences both as a teacher and as a parent, to share some recommendations about parent-teacher conferences.
I can still remember my first year of teaching. Each new experience came with its own case of nerves; first back-to-school night, first parent-teacher conference, first report cards, etc. Once I had my first child I traded all those school stressors for parenting pressures. Now I find myself on the other side of the desk at these events. I recently asked a group of parents to tell me what they look for when relating to their child’s teachers. With parent-teacher conferences coming up, the focus of the conversation was on this event.
So whether you are a first-year teacher or close to retirement; whether you are a parent yourself or not; and whether your school has teacher led or student led conferences, take a moment to listen to what parents really want during this time.
- Greet me with a smile. I know you’re stressed and busy. I know that your to-do list is a mile long and your home to-do list is probably longer. Still, make me feel like I’m the first and only conference you have today. Be happy and full of energy.
- Focus on my whole child, not just grades. I want to know how he is doing academically but his social side is just as important. Give me the good and the not-so-good. He spends a larger portion of the day in your building than in our home so let me know what’s happening to him there.
- Be a teammate. I really do want to partner in my child’s education but she doesn’t always tell me what is happening at school. As such, I may appear hands-off but it’s probably more from lack of information than lack of motivation. Show me that you recognize the important role I play as parent. Don’t just tell me what’s wrong; give me suggestions to help at home. Tell me what you will be studying and working on this year. Give me suggestions to complement that instruction at home. Ask me if I have any comments, questions, or concerns.
- Let there be no surprises. It is my hope that if there are weaknesses or challenges, that we have already discussed them prior to conference time. I much prefer to spend this time talking about where we’ve come and where we’re going than to have you dump 3 months of stuff on me all at once.
- Be involved. I have noticed the trend toward student-led conferences and I suspect this has more to do with teacher freedom than teaching a child to lead a meeting. I understand that but as a parent I need to see who is teaching my child. More-and-more schools are off-limits to parents during the day. This is one of the only times I will get to interact with you this year. Please at least sit next to my child during the conference. Ahead of time, give him suggestions so he can do more than hand paper after paper to me to look at. You can still do all of the above even though it’s called a student-led conference.
- Tell me what qualifies you to teach my child. You get bonus points if you have at least one child yourself. You get even more bonus points if you can tell me that your child once completed her homework all wrong, once forget to get her field trip permission slip signed, or left her lunch money on the bus. Even better? Your child was caught selling Silly Bandz (or the latest craze) for profit, was ever sent to the principal’s office, or if you ever let the date of a conference slip your mind and you never showed up. To accomplish this you might need to change your name. Names like John and James, Diana or Debbie are okay. Names like Kennedy, Krissa, Jaden or Jax, or any other name found on my kindergartner’s classroom roster is not.
- Have fun! By getting to know me better, you will understand my child better. It’ll make our next meeting (if there is one), that much easier.
Cindy King is a parent and an educator. She has taught in private schools and is currently home schooling 3 of her children. Her two oldest children are currently attending public school.
I’m not sure when she finds the time, but Cindy writes about her life as the mother in an active household on her blog, The King Zoo and Funny Farm. In her blog she shares her unique insights about common (and not-so-common) events, her fun sense of humor, and her love for her family.